By: Lindsay Buthe
I have been on both sides as a mom…the “working mom” and the “stay at home mom.” When I was a working mom in the business world I loved the challenge of my job, and I loved an outlet to meet new people and have friends to talk to every day. On the flip side…it was really hard for me to leave my son with someone else for over 10 hours a day when you took into consideration the time it took to drive to and from work. I now substitute teach during the school year so really it is kind of the best of both worlds for me.
I am currently home with my 10 month old daughter, Leighton, and 4 year old son, Cale, for the summer. If I am going to be brutally honest, I will admit that some days I want to pull my hair out and I feel like I walk around in circles ALL day long. I wake up to a clean house and find that within an hour there is stuff everywhere. Leighton is at the age where she is teething and requires a lot of attention so there is a lot of crying going on some days. Our house is a split level design so we have gates EVERYWHERE. When I do attempt to work out or try and fold a load of laundry I am usually interrupted by either a butt to wipe, a boo boo to kiss, or a mess that I need to clean up. I feel like there are a lot of days I look back and think “what did I even accomplish today?”
I was having one of those days that I described above and was telling my husband the other day how I sometimes don’t know if I am cut out for being a “stay at home” mom. Some days I feel like I don’t have as much patience as I should. Some days I feel like I am just going through the routine and in ways wonder if I would be a better mom if I wasn’t home all day with my kids. I received an email from my husband, Tim, that same day that put things in perspective for me. He always seems to have a way of doing that for me.
Your purpose right now is being the best Mother you can be. You have a more important job than I have when you think about it. Don’t overlook that responsibility. Put your energy into training Cale and Leighton teaching them right and wrong. I don’t have the time to spend with them that you do. Don’t take it for granted and take your role lightly. We will both have to answer to God on the way we raised our kids. I want to be able to say that we did the best we could and I am certain you do too.
I was ashamed of myself after reading this email. I know that my husband had no intention of making me feel this way but it really hit home to me that I can try to do better at this job. This job that is the most important one I will EVER have. At the end of the day the only one that is measuring what I accomplished for the day is me. The laundry, the dishes, the organized closets and tupperware…there really is no deadline for these tasks. These moments with my beautiful children on the other hand…these moments are fleeting away.
I want my children to grow up and be good people. I want Cale and Leighton to know right from wrong. I want them to have a relationship with God and the desire to serve other people. I have the best job in the world being able to guide them on that path. When I do answer to God someday on how I raised my children, I want him to look me in the eyes and say “well done.” You see the reality is mama’s…it doesn’t matter if you are a stay at home mom or a working mom, we cannot take this job lightly. This job is the most important one we will ever have…the job of “mom.” I needed to be reminded of this on that particular day so I hope this will provide some encouragement to some of you that may have days like I described where the role of motherhood does not seem all that glorious. Your role is important. Do not take it lightly.