Before I was a Mom, I made and ate hot meals. I had unstained clothing. I had quiet conversations on the phone.
Before I was a Mom I slept as late as I wanted and worked out when I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
Before I was a Mom I cleaned my house each day. I never tripped over toys or forgot words to lullabies.
Before I was a Mom I didn’t worry whether or not my plants were poisonous. I never thought about immunizations.
Before I was a Mom I had never been spit up on, pooped on, chewed on or pinched by tiny fingers.
Before I was a Mom I had complete control of my mind, my thoughts and my body. I slept all night.
Before I was a a Mom I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests or give shots. I never looked into teary eyes and cried. I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin. I never sat up late at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn’t want to put it down. I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn’t stop the hurt. I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
Before I was a Mom I didn’t know the feeling of having my heart outside my body. I didn’t know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby. I didn’t know that bond between a mother and her child. I didn’t know that something so small could make me feel so important. Before I was a Mom I’d never gottten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay. I had never known the warmth. The joy. The love. The heartache. The wonderfullness or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn’t know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom. I never knew that I could love someone so much. I never knew I would LOVE being a Mom.
So many truths and now I am a Mom to my two beautiful boys. There are days that I need to remember all of the above– the days where my two baby boys test my patience. Being a Mom is the most amazing journey in life!
Some women, as did I, struggle with fertility and read this post and feel like it won’t ever be them– it will happen. Infertility hits so many women and the one thing that we have to remember is that it’s out of our hands. That is something I was told over and over again while we went through it and it was hard to hear. It’s so true though– we all try to manipulate, force agendas and control situations but we need to let go and let God work– we don’t have to always be “in charge.” Try less and TRUST more.
To mommas everywhere… PATIENCE IS A VIRTUE!! 🙂